Here’s the teaser…

Here’s the draft of the teaser on the back of the book. I REALLY would like to know what you think (even if you think I should change the wording…):

“Zack has no idea that he is trapped. For twelve years he has lived in a safe society that has cut itself off from the rest of the planet. A century before Zack was born his community secluded itself by building a thirty-foot wall of mortar and stone. No windows or doors led to the outside world. No one entered; no one exited.

Young Zack is completely content in his community until he is enlightened by a criminal that is eventually expelled from the town. The lawbreaker treats his day of punishment as if it is his ticket to independence. Zack had never thought about visiting the world outside Magnus Kir, but after a series of events including a run-in with the king, he finally gets his chance.  Magnus Kir is the tale of his hesitant escape.”

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About deanhardy23

Dean Hardy is the Bible Department Chair at Charlotte Christian School North Carolina. He is the author of middle grade fantasy Magnus Kir and an apologetics text entitled Stand Your Ground
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2 Responses to Here’s the teaser…

  1. Will Grey says:

    Mr. Hardy,
    The book sounds really interesting. You might want to adjust the wording of the sentence starting with, “A century before…” You could take out “had” and maybe use another word for “enclosed,” such as secluded. Or you could change the order and say, “…his community built a solid, thirty foot wall of mortar and stone to surround the town.” Just suggestions. Hope they help and that you are doing well.

    • deanhardy23 says:

      Thanks Will! I did take out the word “had” and used “secluded” instead of enclosed. I like the way it reads much better! Thanks man!

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